Chasing the Skill

While I should blog more regularly, because I do think about it often, I never seem to get around to it like I should.

July's almost over and 2010's halfway over! I can't believe how fast this year is going, and all the things that are happening.

Mostly it seems like I never have free time anymore, and I don't see getting it back anytime soon. I have a happy life, and things are generally good, however I feel like I want a few months of nothing—nothing at all —happening.

I've been doing a ton of freelance work lately; clients just seem to appear out of the woodwork. I'm having a hell of a time learning how to manage it all and still maintain sanity. But I'm learning a lot that's good. For a while I began to think I maybe wasn't cut out for design work and thought maybe I should pursue something else. I guess I never really feel like I really hit that genius stride.

Back when Dad was alive, he was my True Believer. Although everyone in my family is truly supportive and wonderful, Dad was always the one who really, really thought I was something. He kept my self esteem and hope for future greatness alive and well. I never took his praise and expectations for granted. I always thought I would work into them.

Now that Dad is gone, I wonder, what happened to that sense of hope? I feel myself slowly working into middle-class normalcy, dropping that dream of becoming a great designer, a great artist. I just never possessed that talent to get me to the top, I think sometimes.

I was listening to a RadioLab podcast yesterday with Robert Krulwich and Malcom Gladwell and they were talking about genius. Gladwell was going on about how he doesn't like the term genius...that someone got somewhere because they were preternaturally challenged. He maintains that a pure, unadulterated love for a particular thing, like how Wayne Gretsky loved hockey or Beethoven loved music, was what made them special. He talks about how if someone can put 10,000 hours into something, they will inevitably be considered a genius in their field. And it's more about the love and the time committed than it is sheer dumb luck of talent.

And I consider this: Even though I haven't dedicated every moment of my life to design and art, I've dedicated a significant amount. Maybe at some point, it will equal 10,000 hours. Will my art be considered great then? I suppose that's not what's important. The importance is expanding the skill, and, contritely, the journey. I will spend the rest of my life trying to be come better at art. I'm chasing the skill, and learning more, but know that I'll never be finished with this.

I realized yesterday after the podcast that, although I might not spend the rest of my life as a graphic designer, I do love to make stuff. Drawings, food, furniture, masks..as long as I'm combining things to make new things, I think I'll always feel happy.

Will I be doing graphic design in 10 years? Who knows. I know that I do have a new love; I bought a Nikon D90 DSLR camera that takes amazing photos. I've been experimenting with it here and there, but haven't done any real photoshoots yet, A) because it's FREAKING hot outside...the temperature rarely drops below three digits these days, even at night, and B) because of the business of the freelance gigs, which, thankfully, is paying for the rather pricey camera, and some nice things I've been buying this summer.

Darren and family were here a couple of weeks ago, and David and I spent time with them and the Clarks. We rented a room in the Flamingo and had a great time swimming and drinking beer there. Next week I fly to San Francisco to visit Troy, Robert, Mikkel & Hillary and to see the city. I've never been, so I'm excited about seeing the city, as well as having this amazing camera to go along with me.

I am bringing back at least 500 photos.

It's Justin and Josh Kenny's last weekend here in Las Vegas. We're spending the weekend with them, as well as celebrating Jorge and Wells' birthday. Another busy weekend coming up!


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Currently listening to: Black Moth Super Rainbow